so confused

hi... My public diary..

i'm so confused. i have told myself countless of times that i did not deserve the pain i got with her. but why do i seem to be craving her? im glad its not like how it was last week in which i couldnt function properly without seeing a glimpse of her.... my craving for her is like me wanting to buy a cigarette. its bad. i hope itll be gone soon. i miss you but i dont ever want you close to me again bc im afraid ill be unable to let go