It's a rant

I want to write a song about my current feelings and experiences with living here in this new environment and country. I want to do it, but I just cant seem to bring myself to do just that. Is it because I'm lazy? Or is it because I can't communicate my emotions properly. 

Growing up, I've learnt that giving opinions or sharing emotion such as sadness or anger was often disliked. If I showed these emotions, then I would be branded as being disrespectful. Maybe that's part of the reason why I'm so horrible at communicating how I truly feel towards people, and maybe that's also the reason that I'm absolutely trash at explaining why the certain actions of people hurt me.

What's funny is that even if I know I'm disliked, I still try to stay and make people like me. Even if I know I'm disliked at this church I'm going to, I have to still do my duty there as I am part of a christian youth fellowship. What's funnier is that I'm trying to distance myself from them, and no one even seems to care that I'm gone. It honestly pains me that people will never try to understand. But then again, I'll never be able to properly communicate my feelings so it's whatever.