Everything You've Come To Expect {literature}

I need you to stay here. I wouldn’t have cared if I barely knew you, but I know who you are, I know your struggles, I relate to you, I see you in my mind over and over and I can't bear to possess the thought of a life without you. With anyone else, thinking about an alternate universe in which their path never crosses mine is not traumatizing, but when I think of a life where you never existed in it I feel so empty and like something is missing, not just from my life, but from the entire world. The image of your dulcet pale hand holding mine is mixed with the contemptuous outlook of the outside world which doesn’t involve our journey together. We’ve always lived in our own bubble, even with groups of others, conversing into talks of frivalous gossip and inconsistencies in retellings. Our eyes are always linked to each other, sometimes not even talking, but basking in the moment that we connect to the same brainwave. My arms feel empty when you aren’t in them and my skin flushes cold when you aren’t on top of me, staring through my soul with your heavy eyes and pink mouth, egging me on to cup your face and meet our lips. My name has no emotional attachment to me unless you’re saying it, whispering it or screaming it. Sometimes I mutter your name aloud to taste it, getting a feel for how I'd get used to saying it to your face. Oh how flustered I get when you turn to me once you feel my eyes on the back of your neck. We can’t go a period of a millisecond without needing to touch each other in any sort of way, whether it’s the slide of a hand down a shoulder, or somewhere below the belt. The best thing my palms have ever felt is your heartbeat through the thin linen of your t-shirt, in the dim lights of my bedroom. Nothing but the dawn's light beams shining through my curtains and the buzzing strings of my guitar, you never knew, but I wrote those songs for you. If death do us part, then I wish for our souls to be immortal, your dracula teeth still seeping into my neck like the day I was bitten by your presence. Make it everything I've wanted it to be, everything you’ve come to expect.

“Everything that you’ve come to expect, everything that I live to regret.”