Clear morning

Do you ever get so tired you get a little sick? Like there's a vast overcast sky in your head ...and your mind / body is so occupied by the distraction of mild suffering that falling asleep feels like willingly submitting to near-certain death

I haven't even really been up that long but I woke at a bad part in the sleep cycle and after that what do you know I kept being awake .... Oh how will I ever make it to noon ... woe is me

After I woke up I was looking through some books that'll be going back quite soon..I'm reading them now, and one tells me that you are truly blessed - I read "blessed" as "loved" - when a crop circle appears in your private orchard... Another tells me that picturing gold light spilling from a large window will make the golden sphere in your heart grow brighter(!)

Could it be true? If I get the bells out of my ears maybe I'll be able to see..