Burnout

I feel like there's nothing i can do

I just eat, work, and sleep

I want to do more

Go outside

Talk to people

But i don't know how.

Recently I've been talking to a couple of people more than i used to

And i really enjoy it

I love talking to them

But then as soon as we stop consistently messaging i feel empty and tired again

I don't wanna bring this up with those people because...

It's not like they can do anything about it or help me

So i just cope and smoke and eat random snacks to get my mind off all of it..

I want to feel better and be able to smile naturally before the show happens on June 11th

I don't wanna greet everyone with my burnt out expressions

I want people to say hi and for me to be able to say hi back

But i really don't know how I'm gonna manage that in a couple weeks

I also have been struggling with the show itself because i was wanting to start promotions like....this week, but i haven't been able to because i don't have 100% confirmations with everyone 

And that's the only issue

Once i start promotions then ill be able to buy what i need for the show and finally feel comfy

But i can't control when they tell me they're able to come

I gave a deadline and at this point i just gotta hope they remember and if they don't i either have to drop them or....i don't even know

People don't see that I'm serious about the show

I have been wanting to do this for months and have been planning it for two

It's finally in motion and i feel like people aren't taking it seriously?

Like I'm putting my time

My money

Into this 

And people are just 

I don't know

It's just frustrating that it's all making me feel ignored instead of happy