Shouldve went batshit insane [vent]

These meds are terrible n they're only sleeping meds. I've not meet up with my psychiatrist yet. 

I'm dissociating rlly badly bc I can't just... sleep immediately even with the meds. Especially with the meds. I feel like a braindead statue. My vision is blurry but I think that's just my overdue prescription glasses. Everytime I try to sleep, I always feel something active. Smth like a locked-in syndrome. I'm active but then again, I'm not. It's itching me. Im sleepy, my eyes wanna close but my body tells me not to. I'm constantly moving around my bed. I'm restless. 

Now I'm thinking of it, I should've just went without telling anyone. It's such a hassle to me and everyone around me. Better yet, i shouldve just stopped talking. It's starting to feel like everything's abt me. It genuinely makes ppl concerned n I hate it. I hate to see my mom cry too.

Edit: this is not limited to sleeping...