baby blues for wide-eyed browns

the more i try to write this, the more i realize that i can't come up with anything resentful. 

i know how stubborn i can be with these kind of things. i never want to hear that im wrong. id rather just give you the cold shoulder than accept the skeleton you've given me. 

it doesnt solve anything 

i know that this is my fault 

and i know i'll let the phone ring too many times. you know i hate this part. 

i wish i cared more. i wish i could care at least a little more than i do. 

im sorry for leaving you there. 

I know im supposed to love you 

I know you just want this fixed already. I know that I can't fix this as early as you want. i wish that you could just led up. i wish you hated me; you know how much easier it would be if you just did. you know i still love you, no matter how many times you keep asking. no matter how many times i dont say it back. no matter how angry i am. no matter how angry you are. i still love you. i always will, no matter how much i wish i could stop. 

how are you still so lovely? even after all the bullshit. youre still you

stupid you 

i know you want this fixed. i know you want what we had back. i cant do that right now. and im sorry for leaving you hanging like rusted lead to a hook. 

i dont think i love you the way i used to 

trust, i still love you. but i dont think its in the same way you love me 

I know im supposed to love you 

the things we say when we cant tell the truth 

can you really blame me? we become the things we do. our bite of the apple 

"defused" isnt the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind. the sound falls easier on my ears now than it did before

only, i dont know how that goes. good or bad? i dont got a clue 

you need better standards 

- L