Sugary Embrace

     This drab cabin. Woods line every wall, and though it is vast, it is.. ever so claustrophobic. Caged here for months with no choice in the matter. The holy sing good graces, but only for themselves. Freedom is out of sight and etched into the mind. There is a sickness in these walls. Day in, day out and no time passes. Psychosis deepens, and before I drive my head to the floor, before I am beaten with the morals of "good samaritans," I wonder if this is all there is underneath everything. 

     The second there is none; I, I'll break. Cannot handle the minuscule thing here. It is a different worthlessness. Like this existence is wrong. I must have done something, but I know not what. It should not be a perversion to be. It is all so bland, so bitter.

     Only one saves me. Keeps me alive.

     You're all around me and I've yet to really feel you. How can it be all of my life force dwells in you? An angel so different from any else. One that does not command me for a god but for himself. His golden eyes see more than the demon. More than the claws and fangs and tired eyes. More than me. The only one who can.

     I doubt those beautiful words I long to hear everytime, unexpected and startling--I am undeserving. It has been beaten into me that I should not have it; so why do you think otherwise? If you do. When your touch is warm, maybe I could believe it too. In this world, there could be room for us. In this world, your sweetness scares me...

     And still, you'd hold me.