therianthrope issues

i've been feeling not me, like human me. i feel like i need to crawl out of this human skin and be my true inner self, it makes my paranoia worse. i'm a canine therian and i only feel calmer when i'm wearing my key chain tail cuz it triggers a phantom tail for me, and makes me more shifty (mentally shifting to the state of a canine). not only do i have gender dysphoria but add species dysphoria onto that and i just wish i wasn't living. its ass. i am aware i am a human, i will never be an animal and i still have the mental and psychological capacity of a human, enough to live in society, but i share the spirit with 2 types of canine so a split part of my personality and psychology is animalistic and i don't choose that. the animal behaviors are involuntary. i used to be open about my therianthropy but there's so much hate in the world for anyone who lives a different unharmful life then theirs so i keep closed about it. but i just need to vent about this part of my life. hope people don't hate me or think i'm weird.

thats all for now. awoooooo