a history of the phases within my life (& being scenemo)

2015, the furthest back i can remember, i loved soundcloud music,i remember being a huge leafyishere fan but i remained.. not an asshole, probably because i was just some girl in her livingroom. . i mostly enjoyed his content silently and stayed in my own lane, i was a super shy kid, didnt wanna cause any harm whatsoever but indulging in edginess in my free time is probably a huge part of my development growing up online-- its weird because i was way too young to be online, i moreso just snuck onto the internet when i really wasnt supposed to be there in the first place, which i guess is okay because i learned a lot from that. i was an animal jam youtuber & made LPS videos in my free time.

i was also huge into anime, manga, the works. my favorite anime was probably.. lucky star, which remains one of my favorites to this day, funfact, as a kid back in germany (around 08) i would watch lucky star clips on youtube in the worst quality possible. 

2016 - 2018 i was incredibly scenemo, if you look through my google+ you were guaranteed atleast one picture of gir or one of those pon & zi comics. i had the typical emo haircut with the bang covering my right eye and was always wearing band merch. like.. ALWAYS. i went to hot topic atleast once a month, i would insert pictures if they werent painfully embarrassing. 

2019, i try to fit in with people around me, indulging in the VSCO girl aesthetic & buying a polaroid camera. realized it wasnt for me. 

2020-early 2021 - scenemo is back, baby! (& covid is here.) had long hair with that fringe that made it evident what was going on, wore a ton of kandi, i refused to touch tiktok ironically, despite that being where every other scene kid was at. i had a myspace93 & twitter account, thats when my drain gang special interest went into full swing. had a ton of pictures of bladee albums & bladee himself on my wall above my bed (LMFAOO??), began making breakcore and learning how music works in general. 

2022 - outgrew scenemo as i got closer to graduating highschool, kinda realized that soon i was gonna be an adult and that i would have to obviously try to fit in with other adults. began unaligning myself with subcultures in order to find myself without them guiding me in a sense.

current - just kinda going with the flow, doesnt really identify with subcultures and just does what makes me happy, of course theres nothing wrong with being part of one, its just not for me, since i dont think i can truly fit in anywhere in one group of people, or even two, or even three. i'm just marlie.  still a breakcorist and junglist, just without all the crazy rainbow aestethics since i don't have it in me much anymore. throughout this time though , one variable hasnt changed, and i'm still an artist. i began drawing at the age of 3 (according to my parents) and i still do it to this day, less, yes, but its still in me, as a kid (age 5) i played guitar and piano, i still own a guitar, but my hands are too small to play it and its broken, lol 

life is beautiful,and i wanna see where it takes me next.