I could've chosen to be lazy, but I wanted to make this blog post...

I could've chosen to be lazy, but I wanted to make this blog post...

NO WAY!!

It was on my mind and I almost did it. I almost made a post, but my laziness got the best of me. However, I wrote this goal down on my calendar and I am going to commit to this.

Anyway, here is a recap of the last two weeks:

1. For the first time I had felt weird about being ghosted (still a bit confused at the situation?? LOL). I realize that this person really resonated with me and that I started to gain an unhealthy attachment to them (in my head of course). Not the greatest as I had worked on my mental health for a very long time so this moment of realization was a shocker to me. I had to mute this person on Instagram, journal write and meditate to centre myself again.

It was great having that feeling I had for this person but it was rooted in hyper-focusing on this person. I worked to hard on myself to fall back now. HELL NO!!! Their is this event I will be volunteering at and while I am a little worried to see this person in public at the end of the day I am going to keep it cordial. You never know these moments can be misinterpreted so I want to remain chill/cool/calm

2. I am realizing the pattern with my menstrual cycle is that I get into an angry mood the week before my period. THIS IS NOT FUN!! It has been happening for a while. I had done some self-therapy, walking, journaling, breathing BLAH BLAH BLAH LOL. I think I am going to resort to getting some sort of assessment of my periods. I am also thinking of using the brand "elix" and hopefully that can do something for me.

3. I am having a little trouble with some letting go. With some memories resurfacing in my head I had realized how much pain and trauma I had been through. Basically, I was healing my inner child/teen in tandem with coming to terms with my memories.

What is odd about memories is that you DO NOT want to be the person who says, "YES I REMEMBER", but then someone gives you a different perspective and then you are like "OH?"

I had to really sit with myself, journal and even talk to myself in third person. OH! by the way talking to yourself in third person is SO NICE. You are able to talk about your trauma while creating distance. Anyway, while I was trying my best to process these thoughts and certain emotions started to arise. I saw a post on social media say that even if you do not remember the situation, you BODY/FEELINGS remembers how it feels. I just focused on that. I am looking to volunteer more as when you are so alone an in your thoughts YOU FEEL CRAZY. Getting out and being of service to others may help me remind myself that happens ain't so bad...cuz really they aren't. Yes, still set boundaries and the internalization, but most people are trying...TRUELY! REALLY!

This was a lot. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and I hope you have been having a wonderful day.