still alive

still alive so that’s good i suppose.  i lost a lot of my friends because of a depressive episode i think, im isolating myself a lot now and idk.  i still miss him and am actually crying over him rn i texted him today because i don’t want his stuff in my closet anymore it just makes me sad.  i’m dropping it off sometime this week.  i just feel nothing idek what to say.  i’m so incredibly lonely all the time and i just don’t want to live like this anymore.  everyday i cry and i mourn someone who isn’t even really gone.  i don’t know how much longer i can do this.  i have nobody in real life, i do but i don’t want to burden them anymore i just want to disappear i don’t want anyone to remember i just want to be gone.