the problem with "fae neopronouns"

TLDR: they have a big cultural and religious significance. similar to having "kitsune/kitsuneself" or "wendigo/wendigoself" neopronouns. on top of the fact that saying the word "fae" or talking too much about them can be like uhh taboo/a serious jinx, i'm not sure how to word it in english

basically im not gonna fw someone ripping on my culture/religion/beliefs for aesthetic fairycore cottagecore pronouns + potentially get jinxed by fae. so whether you believe in them or not, you kind of suck and are pretty uneducated. no i'm not gonna argue with you about it. 

fairy is fine. fee is fine. fey is fine. fei is fine. fai is fine. it is LITERALLY. only the spelling fae. they are not synonyms. OTHER NEOPRONOUNS ARE FINE.

so first off - what are fae?

fae aren't fairies, they aren't cutesy dainty winged creatures with mystique and love and care who will grant you wishes. fae are the aos sí, or the fair folk/the good people/daoine sídhe. they are thousands of different creatures, driven away when humans came and took over their land. they are seen as malevolent but only because we invaded their homes, which they are very protective of. people often leave little offerings (eg. bread, milk, etc) for them to make some sort of peace, so that they don't take anything from you. some are light hearted, mischievous and good-willed but others not so much and not as forgiving. the general rule is to treat them with respect, and they will return that respect; however, they are also capable of cruelty, and so on.

a matter of respecting the fae.

fae aren't worshipped - like i said, they aren't gods. they are distinct from the tuatha dé danann (translates to godtribe). but they are definitely respected, and taken seriously. like i said a lot of people leave gifts. "genderfae" and "fae" neopronouns are considered disrespectful for a wide multitude of reasons. it can be seen as an attempt to claim the identity of these beings (GUHH EVEN IF ITS NOT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO ITS JUST.,.. ITS WEIIIIRD...), or as trivializing their significance in irish culture. the fae existed long before human concepts like gender, so attributing human social constructs to them is err inappropriate? i can't think of a better word for this.

not only is it disrespectful to fae, but it is disrespectful to people. people use it as some cottage-core fairy-loving pretty aesthetic thing. they just assume it as a "prettier" spelling of fairy. most of the people who use fae neopronouns from what i've seen do not know of the aos sí, the tuatha día, etc. and don't bother to look into it. it's the same thing as someone having kit/kitsune neopronouns from japanese folklore or god/godself neopronouns from a religion. "not believing in them" isn't an excuse when people go out of their way to respect other cultures and religions, they just feel more content doing it to a less spoken about and well-known culture.

i know there are some irish people who say otherwise, but i have yet to see an actively practising/educated person to say that its 100% ok and 100% non-offensive and 100% safe and 100% fair. every practising person i've seen has had a "blah blah blah... but" or flat out don't agree with it at all. this is in particular because after england colonised ireland a lot of our culture and history was buried away, and practising our beliefs was made illegal for a long time.

i firmly believe in the difference between seeing a culture & respecting it, and cultural appropriation. but even if people did their research, the pronouns themselves could be disrespectful to the fae. and nobody should be speaking for the fae or deciding what is/isn't offensive to them.

just as a note: i'm speaking from my perspective as someone from ireland, deeply invested in irish paganism, folklore, history, and culture. i recognize that views on the fae might differ from celt to celt, or pagan to pagan, but the underlying cultural significance remains. i feel strongly about this topic because it's not just about belief, it's about showing respect to both the fae and the culture they belong to.