cigarette burns and the town next door.

I wake up feeling wired from the caffeine last night and with my headache I'm ready to start the day. I down my meds and drink a redbull for breakfast. I take my time enjoying my breakfast while doing homework. I floss, brush my teeth and push the freshly lit cigarette into my skin. Why do I do this? Well how many hearts have a broken, how many relationships have a ruined. The cuts and burns now a reminder to not repeat the mistakes of the past when I know who I love. People seem to forget or never understood how lonely things can be at the bottom of the barrel. I wonder what they see in me, maybe something that once could've been great, maybe it's my arms that she loves to touch, maybe it's my mind that never knows when to be silent. I love my baby, I think about how even tho she says otherwise she needs my love. I pack my pepper spray, wrench and tazzer. I needed to be prepared because today I'm visiting the town over. Now where I live you will usually see the occasional tranq zombie folded in half or fetty addict hunched over or a meth fiend tweakin out but where I'm headed that's all that exists. While it is a crap hole full of violence and pain around every corner there is a secret stash of supposedly rare records and albums and other paraphernalia under my friend's temporary pad. I stop by occasionally to collect whatever he's willing to give me tho I never know what I'm gonna get it usually does fetch a good price. The trip there as easy enough and I get off the bus with no issues. I sometimes give my friend video and pictures of the stuff I see outside of where lives in exchange for better stuff so I plan on filming some crazy stuff today. I see a building with a hole in the side. I crawl in to take some pics and realize there's some kind of basement here. There's lots of crates but I don't care to open them up tho my guess would be alcohol from bottles around. I was going to put my headphones away but was vibing so I decided listening closely to my surrounding wasn't too important compared to the vibe. I messaged my friend about the building with the hole and he says I need to get out of there right away. Seconds later I hear someone asking if I'm a thief in a loud accusatory voice. Before I could answer he said run and that's all I needed to hear. I bolted out of there. I make it out and make it to the park nearby to catch my breath. I hear someone in the park yell jesus christ help but it was getting dark and I couldn't see anyone. Once I saw the dead cat on the floor I decided it was time to head back home and come back another day. I got home around 7:00PM and started getting my things ready for the school week.