Why soup is homophobic

Soup is incredibly homophobic.. Some people in denial might ask "how the frick is soup homophobic???" well friends here's why.

Number one, soup does not have enough colors therefore it hates the lgbtqqip2saa+ community. Do you see soup go rainbow every pride month? No, you don't. If soup truly wants to be more inclusive then soup should have at least have more chemicals in it so it changes colors every few seconds. It's not that hard, like dude, just change colors, I do it every second of my life.

Number two, soup should have more fruit. The fact that soup has little to no fruit seems errmmmm kinda offensive not gonna lie. It deeply saddens me to see the soup community silence their gay brothers and sisters, removing their fruitiness by blending the fruit within them, to make them more acceptable to society.

Number three, lots of soup say loads of slurs. You may not realize it but whenever you eat soup it calls you many slurs in the soup language, soupian. This language is inaudible to the human ear, however, I am native tomato soupian, and am fully aware of the foul words uttered while you slurp their creamy substance from the teaspoons of which you adore.

Number four, I have witnessed soup slither out of the porcelain crater of which you call a bowl, just to slap a man who came out as gay to his parents. That man, has never been seen ever again... 

If you still support the soup community after this, DNI.