my brother, another lover, i hope you both die anyway

i love you, which is why i hate you so much now. it isn't fair, the way he looks at you under city lights in this ghost town. i'm starting to think you killed them. and i know it isn't your fault. there was really nothing we could do but meld into each other once again (and there's a reason we were never whole to begin with) but i'm still sick. i'm so tired of your name on her lips in his voice. i want you dead, dear brother, and it's my own fault for letting go- maybe i held too tightly. you were supposed to be the antidote to the sickness but it's been a year and the infection is still spreading so put the fucking bandages down. it's funny- i got that blister from holding onto the swingset too long so i could still hear that voice. i know she's out there and i'm fucking happy for you. but don't call me if you miss the train, because i already know he wants your guts spilled over the tracks.