Friends and family can be such bullshit at times

Don't be alarmed, I love my friends and family but sometimes it feels like they don't love me back.

What I mean with this is that they're really good at freezing me out at times.

I have three older brothers, they all have similar interests and that can lead to them sometimes forgetting about me.

Last time this happened was this xmas. Me and my borthers were hanging out the whole day having fun and we wanted to test how fast we could make the "änglaspel" spin, (idk what it's called in english).

We got that idea when we were "shopping" earlier that day, my oldest brother bought a flambé burner, I'm not sure if thats the right word haha, for this experiment. I was so looking forward to it because I would be having fun with my brothers for once.

Then it was time for dinner, while we were eating we were talking about this experiment and how we were going to try it after dinner. Then, all of the sudden, my brothers started talking about doing somehing completley different and they quickly finished eating and ran of to do this thing I had no idea what it was.

You might be thinking that this isn't such a big thing and I shouldn't care so much about it, well this isn't the first time it's happened. I happens almost every time my oldest brothers are visiting, they run of to one of their rooms and laugh and do someting I'm not invited to doing with them.

And then theres my friends. I have a pretty decent sized friendgroup where everyone knows everyone, I love my friends from the bottom of my heart but they can also be quite good at excluding me. When were haning out people have their "designated bff", they sit two and two and talk, and when were an uneven amount of people someone has to be left out.

This has happened a lot recently and it's not even just happening when were all there anymore.

In my class I have two of my friends, so that means were an uneven amount.

Every. Single. Break we have they sit next to eachother and play fireboy and watergirl. Also I know that one of them dosen't want to be my friend, she just hangs out with me because I hang out with our other friend. 

You might think something like "oh how can you be sure she doesen't want to be your friend???" 

Well since we were 13 she's been talling me that she wants to find new friends and thinks I'm so weird. In 7th grade (13-14 years old) when our mutual friend was gone she hung out with some people she knew in another class when out mutual friend was sick or something.

She just left me all alone at break and lunch, which by the way sometimes was over an hour long.

And one day when me, her and this other girl in our class was talking about something I mad a joke that most of my friends would laugh at she just sat there and then looked at this other girld and said loud and clear so that I could hear "Do you see now why I want to change friends?".

The worst thing is that she wont leave me alone, she acts like that never happened, like she never said that she dosen't want to be friends with me, might I add multiple times.

I don't know how much longer I can keep acting like everything is fine between us, how much longer until I leave my best friend because her best friend hates me.

That's why it hurts so much, our mutual friend is my best friend. I don't know what I would do without her, especially because she is one of the two people in my class I feel cofortable around.

Anyways, this was a little bit of a rant, vent if you will. And don't worry about me, this is just some small stuff that I've been thinking about recently. I'm a happy person usually but sometimes I have to get some things off my chest.

Byeee <3