My life, my dread

As I stand here alone looking around At the beauty of life, so radiant and sound The sun fading away, the horizon hued in dull blues The darkness spreads like an unwanted bruise A sense of despair and sadness looms In my heart I cannot hide my gloom My life a never-ending sea of pain I do nothing but wait in vain The flowers, the trees..all so alive Yet I feel as if I’m suffocating, forever to survive The beauty of life may seem unique But beneath the surface lies an endless leak A leak of pain, of sadness and fear A fear that looms and enters each year The sun sets, the shadows grow Leaving me alone feeling low My thoughts run forever, never stopping As my heart breaks, I give in hoping The beauty of life a scene of grieving Why is life so, deceiving