I FEEL LIKE I'M GONIG CRAZY ARRRGGGG

I don't know what to do with my life anymore social wise, I have super bad social skills and don't know how to start a convo for the life of me it's so frustrating. I don't know why but I've always had this really hard time connecting with others, no one seems to really be like me like I can have tons of friends but it just still feels like I'm alone, not physically and people wise but mentally and emotionally wise yk? It just feels like I'll always strive for someone that truly understands my weird antics most of my friends say that don't understand me or that I'm weird, obviously not trying to make me upset but I always play along but it honestly aches me to my core and leaves me feeling so empty I hate ittttt cause iv'e been told I'm weird my whole life anyway sorry for being emo lollllllllllllll (idk maybe I'm just nondivergent or something)