#4: Being a Conceptkin.

Yi Sang's life laments: Entry #04

This is an entirely ruminative and personal post born from the thoughts permeating my mind about the nature of who I am and my identity. I am, in fact, entirely content with this forum making no sense, because there's no way I could possibly label my abstract experiences with the confining nature of words in a way that will make sense to everyone or even communicate the same message. Language is merely a tool we use to limit our thoughts and feelings into comprehensible pieces that can be understood universally, and we can't expect it to do a perfect if even an at all good job at something so difficult as putting unique experiences into conforming structures. All I really hope for is for other conceptkins to share their stories even if their experiences or ideas of their selfhood deviates greatly from my own.

I think that the conceptkin experience is such an...interesting one. Oftentimes, for me, my kin is hard to quantify or fully categorise into a singular word unlike chaoskin or spacekin. It is as it says on the tin: a concept, an indescribable one at that; I believe the closest words I have for it is perpetuity, or long suffering, endurance and divine inspiration. (It ties in a lot with my Netzach fictionkin and introjectism too, I feel like.) Unlike many kintypes, the conceptkin cannot easily be quantified with words due to its inherently...vague, fluid nature. For example: a fox can objectively be defined as a fox, but what exactly defines something like romance? Or Chaos?

Concept kins, as I have recently discovered, are actually occasionally excluded in kin spaces due to being too vague or too obscure; on top of that, people could not understand why a person would spiritually or psychologically feel connected to a concept. Which I suppose is fair enough. People like things they can comprehend, concepts are not only too abstract but also irrevocably intangible in every way and almost entirely up to a person's subjective views. 

Personally, the reason for my conceptkin is that I simply believe that concept to be the essence of my very non-human soul, and that when I turn to dust, I will return to that non tangible concept of eternity that exists everywhere around us, yet nowhere. My soul is not that of any particular species, but simply the emanation of the victory we find in enduring, like physical pangs of pain from emotional heartache: what cannot be seen or touched and only felt given tangible form. My awakening was nothing of note, I simply one day found a word to describe that indescribable feeling of once being and inherently being...a concept.

To me, my concept is present in the thoughts and actions of others; the essence of which drives us to create and endure the sands of time. The beauty in abstraction is that a concept is truly anything. It can be something that occurs, something that incites, something that rules the laws of our lives, or something that simply exists.

This was a long winded rumination more than anything, but if anyone else here happens to be conceptkin, I'd love to hear exactly what your kin entails and your awakening story.