Hee Hee Ha Ha

Guys, I am tired a s f

This energy drink is rly doing nothing for me rn.

Like I woke up today and was ready to do all this yardwork and house work and was thinking up of stuff to do and then I ate lunch and wanted to crawl onto my bed and sleep until the universe collapsed in on itself.

I take that back I suddenly feel energized rn.

Well, I already started this blog so might as well keep huffin' and a puffin' and tootin and a rootin this burning wreck of a train.

So. I'm gonna put on some shitty ass music, and think of some sort of topic for this shitty ass blog.

I guess maybe I'll talk about stuff I want. Cause there's a lot I want right now.

So first off, today I wanted to finish cleaning up our garden area which was filled with pine needles and leaves yesterday until I raked a bunch of it up. And today I was gonna finish bagging all of it but I just literally could not care less. I also wanted to start airing out the soil in the garden beds as well as putting some other soil or whatever in there. (I don't know shit about gardening) I also wanted to bag some leaves n stuff in the back of our yard to count towards a game I wanna buy.

Which brings me to the other thing I want. I'm a fan of the Legend of Zelda and as most of you know, the sequel to Breath of the Wild is releasing THIS FRIDAY. So since I spent all the money I was saving up for it at the mall... I'm going to try and do some house + yard work to try and earn enough money to buy it.

I also really want at least 35 or 25 dollars for... something. (If ykyk...)

I really want to ask if we can rent a violin this summer. I listed orchestra on my electives next year so I'm really hoping that I can get in and start playing again but it would be nice to get some practice time in considering it's been at least a year since I last played.

I really want to get some new headphones. I mean, it's not really a priority for me right now but I washed my galaxy buds a month or so ago and the modes are all messed up. I mean, sure they're nice to have but they're not necessary. I still often miss being able to use them though. They still work totally fine though, thankfully. I just had to disassemble them and clean them with isopropyl alcohol. (Jsyk if you need to do anything like that use 90% or above)

A new phone would be nice. My phone is only a year old and sure it's a bit buggy but it's still totally fine. I only have one of Samsung's A series so it would be nice to get one of the big boi S series. But I've always wanted to get a flagship so that's not different.

Ooh, I saw these two little squishmallows at the mall the other day of a scorpion and a vulture that I really, really, really, really, wanted. Like, I'd literally slit a mans throat and kill his family just to own one of them.

*eghrm*

I'd like to get a camera. Like a professional camera. Maybe Sony? Ion know. I haven't really put in the research so I wouldn't know.

A new backpack would be nice. I saw this really cool Adidas backpack a while back that I desperately wanted. It was the fuckin Adidas Utility Backpack. Like, omfg it looks so clean and I want it rly bad. But I kinda feel like I've already got a commitment to my crusty 4 year old Under Armor backpack.

I wanna get my ears pierced maybe. But just one. I wanna get like the regular piercing on my left ear or like one of those upper piercings. I'd prolly only wear like a silver ring or a dangly chain like one with maybe like a steel rod or sum. ion know

Ion know. That's all just like possession's n shii

I wanna have like a really, really good friend. Like, yeah I have close friends but I don't feel like I've had like a best friend. I don't have anybody that I can really talk to at literally any time of the day, any time of the week, at all. I don't really have anybody to go to their house and just go on our phones or watch stupid ass videos while eating junk food. I don't really have anybody to stay up all night with talking with. Anybody that I can just hang out with in my pajamas, yk? I don't have anybody I feel like where I can just say whatever's on my mind and not care. Nobody that I worry about judging me really.

I wanna be able to talk to people. I don't want to have that feeling in my chest, and that barrier that makes me feel petrified to contribute to a discussion. That fear to say something that's funny, or to say something nice to somebody. Like, even if it's something really small like asking somebody to say pass me a paper. I don't want to have that fear.

I wanna be able to not want. have. To look at myself in the mirror. I want to not have to see how I look from every angle, how I look when I walk or talk. I want to not actively seek out reflective surfaces. I want to not have to push my tongue to the top of my mouth and clench my teeth, think about the way I'm walking, check where I'm looking, or manage my posture.

I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. To not actively look at other people's physique, to not have to analyze my body every morning. I want to not feel like I can only wear pants and jackets. To not worry about my weight and BMI.

eh. This is getting to depressing to write literally at 4 pm. Anyway, sorry for the depressing blog. I'm prolly gonna go do sum outside.