Just some stuff

My feet have finally healed! Now I can finally start working out again, just in time too cause after my finals next week I'm having a month long semester break, I'm gonna take this time to get healthy and feel better about myself :) 

Today I went on a documentary binge, I haven't done it in a while and its great, I went through Bryan Fogel's work and Alexei Navalny's docs too (on youtube and including the Oscar winning one Navalny), great watches. Maybe this is what gamers feel when they play for the whole afternoon, it's nice but I wouldn't want to do it for too long.

Speaking of games I just got wind that Geoguessr is forcibly switching profile pictures to their stupid avatars if you play Duel Mode, I haven't logged in for a while now and unsurprisingly the UI has changed, again, and not for the better. Call me old but I don't like unnecessary changes, if it ain't broke don't fix it! 

Anyways it's been quite hectic the past month with stupid group assignments (I could go on about it but it's gonna be bitchy and long), isolation and questioning friendships. I just feel lonely at college, I can't really vibe with anyone since I speak with 'an intimidating accent', one that I've had my whole life and I'm intimidating in general, like, sure? 

My friend also came to visit me at college but that went mid at best, she berated me a bit and didn't really seem to care about me even though she invited me out. If you're gonna invite someone for an outing what's the bloody point if you suggest to split and wander separately and (call if you need anything)?? It was nice of her to drive out and meet me since I don't have a car but man, if you just needed an apparition as a companion on your self healing trip just say it honestly and I don't have to keep trying to spark conversations like a friend.

Anyways friendship changes and I'm limiting my time with her, since every time we talk I feel drained in the end, dynamics change I guess. I wouldn't dwell too much on it since I have a life ahead of me where I will meet tons of people, some will stick and some don't, that's just life but I'm excited to meet them regardless. 

Oh yeah Eurovision is starting soon and I'm excited! I've been watching since 2016 and it's always good fun, my favorites this year are Finland, Slovenia, Portugal and France. Czechia's and Italy's entries are nice too but I just don't feel it. What I don't look forward to is watching it in the middle of the night and the flashing effects though, but it's only once a year so meh, I can close my eyes anyway.  (Ooo nice gradient)

Maybe I'll liveblog it here while I watch it, interesting concept? I normally just watch it in bed with my small whiteboard beside me listing out my scores for each song. If you watch as well who are your top 5?

There's a million things running through my head at any moment, but I'll try to enjoy small things and work towards my goals, even alone. See ya

7 May 2023