Thoughts of my mother

“What’s your favorite memory of us?”

I want to ask my mom one night as we sit in the same space.

The words don’t come out, I’m afraid of her answer.

“Do you know everytime a friend’s mom hugs me or kisses my forehead, I imagine it’s you?”

I want to tell her, I’m afraid it’d make her mad.

Maybe it would break her heart?

Sometimes I want her to feel the abandonment I feel,

but it’s not right and I couldn’t do that to her.

I heard a song with her name in it,

and thought maybe she’s as lonely as I am.