May feels shitty

Lol i don’t know why but May feels shitty af. It’s only 2nd and i’m already having an emotional breakdown out of nothing. I feel so angry at myself right now. Things are fine and for some reason I am not. 

I will vent a bit of the reason why I’m having an emotional breakdown. A few hours ago, I was angry at someone who’s kinda important to me. That person was mocking me, I know they were just teasing for messing a little bit with me. It’s not big deal, but i really got angry for that. That person was making fun of the way i salute people. And what mads me is that they were doing it by imitating the type of people i find annoying.

The negative feeling of anger stood with for a while. The negative just started spreading on me. I’m mad at myself for being angry about something so stupid. And then i just started overthinking. I feel so bad right now, because it hurt me. Like i was just trying to be nice. I just don’t want to feel weak. Because being hurt means I am weak. And i know it’s not like that, but it feels like that rn. I hate so much when people have the ability to hurt me. If it was someone else i would have laugh or mock them back, because i know they didn’t meant bad. It’s not even mocking, they were just teasing. But is that fact that person can hurt me what angriest me the most. I’m crying about something so stupid. I don’t want to feel like this, i don’t want to cry. If I cry means that i care more than i want to care

I know things will go great on May, that’s drama me just exaggerating. I'll start my training on a call center next week. I’m excited to work on a call center. I suck at dealing with people, really i fight people a lot. And working on a call center is hard because people tend to be fucking gits. Anyways, I feel that working on a call center will help me improve in dealing with people.

Damn writing makes me feel much better. I’m stilll crying but im better