Up much too late but my heart is tired and the sky is pretty.

I am awake much too late but my heart is tiered and the sky is so pretty.

It’s 3:01 am and I feel like I could explode into a million different things in a billion different places. Like the ground could swallow me whole and crunch through my bones and I wouldn’t feel a thing. Like I wouldn’t notice the change. Is this real? I am so confused I often wonder if this is hell and I am doomed to suffer this existence for crimes I can remember. It is so beautiful but that only brings more pain and suffering because it’s something to be abused, killed or held for ransom. I sigh at my extistentialist babble I have imprinted here tonight but in the end, I’ll be dead, anyone judging me is dead and this isn’t real can you proovw it’s real why can’t anyone prove it