Rundown of last week and this week

Hi everyone!

I have been through it, but haven't we all?

I have been dealing with anger issues, and many things are coming to light through that darkness. I was imperfect and had to hold myself accountable for my actions. However, I discovered this recently while watching Trisha Paytas on YouTube: how long do you have to apologize for your past wrongdoings?

I have also discovered that in diving into my past, I do UNDERSTAND (no excuse) that when people were trying to "teach me a lesson" or seeking to hurt me it was their way of healing with their hurt. I realize now that it was so wrong what they did. It makes sense why they did what they did, but treating me that way does not make it right.

I had to grieve, cry and face my darkness. How do you specifically go through something like that? It was multiple things existing at the same time like:

Holding myself accountable.
I was holding others accountable while not ENFORCING IT ON THEM! Also, I never confronted any of them. I just wrote a letter and pretended that I read it to them. I knew the confrontation would hurt me emotionally, so I did this alternative.

Unfortunately, I did all of this healing on my own. It is tough when you don't have people around you to see, hear and understand you. This is why I am now going to therapy again. As I have accomplished a lot on my own, and I am grateful for that, having someone who can help me through all that pain will be so wonderful. Hopefully, this therapist goes well. At least I know now that I can protect myself and discern correctly when finding a good therapist.

I hope all is well with you guys, and thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog post!

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