day 29

in between my last writepril and now i had a hard conversation with my mom. sometimes its scary to witness adults going through the things i thought i had beat when i was younger. it makes me scared to think about how long life is sometimes. im afraid of what might happen to me. Im scared of not always feeling greatful to be alive. right now i am so confident that nothing is stagnant and i will never feel trapped. if i ever feel trapped, i feel like i can easily cast something away and life will still feel novel and exciting. i dont want to stop feeling like that. i wish it never stopped and i wish that adulthood didnt mean so many commitments and responsilibilities. It makes me sad to see so many adults that feel trapped. i also wish that my mom was stronger so i didnt have to worry about her. im gona do my hair i think. i hope i can take my mind off shit tonight and have fun even if it feels wrong. what a freaky week. im still greatful for the rain and my cuddly kittens. im greatful to have beautiful loving people in my life who value me in one way or another. im greatful to have my parents and my grandparents in my life. im greatful the weather is getting warmer. im greatful for all the food and water I could dream of and a warm house. im greatful to not feel trapped at this present moment. im greatful that i can do anything i want and its not just some far away dream yet. it feels good to have a lot of time ahead of me. i wish in the future when i feel trapped i can talk to myself right now to make me feel better. im greatful to have writing as a tool to do that in a way. love u guys very much.