Just Randomly Venting

Ever feel as if you aren't good enough and the whole world wants you dead? you can't have anyone to bask in or to hold close. There is always SOMETHING! He tells you to kill yourself and you take it seriously, so you take a handful of pills to wash away your sorrow as he laughs when you panic. you take the bruises you give yourself and act as if they aren't real, forcing more and more to your skin. You draw so close to running away, to saying fuck everyone and how they feel. You can't do shit about how you are because mama knows best. she knows so much she takes everything and you are left with nothing but sorrow. you can't do it alone. you need them to help you, yet you want to push them away? Your jealousy overcomes you and you go for the one who fucking tries to r@p3 you? "Wanna talk about it, you can vent" No. you won't listen. you won't care "Oh. i'm sorry about that" SURE YOU ARE!! you're so sorry you don't understand where my jealousy comes from. I lost her when i was 12, not you. she jumped, i fell to the ground. not you. I gave up on trying. not you. I've been used for sexual shit. not. you. I keep falling in love with people who could hardly care. not you. I keep trying and push it all down and when i try to get it out. i'm fucked over like it's no big deal. "Aw...I'm here for you" NO i don't want your bullshit. you don't care.