Being 18 is actually really sucky tbh :/ (CW vaguely existential and depressing)

I've had a thing for the romance genre for as long as I can remember so lots of the media I took in growing up glorified the hell outta your teen years but truly I hate it. It's wild to me that this is the legal age of adulthood because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing and mentally I feel exactly the same as when I was 11 but with a more pessimistic outlook on life (and I was already a pretty pessimistic child). I was just downstairs practicing math with my mom because the math test is the last test I need to get my GED so I can start a phlebotomy program (phlebotomists draw blood in hospitals and clinics). It feels really shitty being faced with the concept of getting a real job and having to move out one day because in my current state of being I feel pretty useless overall. I couldn't even hold my last job for half a year because it was too overstimulating for my disabilities and it sent my mental health spiraling. I felt really bad about that because I got it to cover the costs of my top surgery and I pushed myself way further than I thought was possible and I still only made half the cost and my mom had to cover the rest. I still feel like I'm about as productive as an infant, I can't possibly imagine how I'll be able to maintain myself one day. Not to mention every time I think about how careers work in our society I get massive existential depression. I never even asked to be here and now I'm forced to conform to a system that shames me for being disabled, forces me to "get over" my disabilities and be normal (not possible), I have to learn in an education system that won't accommodate me, I have to work a job that doesn't make me happy because it's the only one that slightly accommodates me, working that job overexerts my energy at the sake of my mental stability, but if I don't sacrifice my mental stability by working the job I suffer poverty and homelessness until the ache is too much and I die, either from physical ailments of from not being able to stand it anymore. And the cherry on top is that none of these things even had to exist in the first place. We're just a bunch of animals on a giant rock. Other social creatures don't have economies, they just look out for those in their group simply because that's what social creatures do. They do have hierarchies which still kinda sucks but living beings just can't be perfect, we all suck in one way, shape, or form. Either way, the manner in which we operate is stupid and I hate it but it's been this way for so long that change is impossible. People don't like change and people especially don't like changing what's convenient to them. This train of thought often makes me feel like everything is pointless and that there is no good side to any of this. I don't know what will become of my life when life is not made for people like me. Whatever, it's not a very productive line of thinking. My therapist would probably just advise me to redirect myself right now so I guess that's the end of this rant.