Absent Fragments

Greetings, my umbral underling! It has been quite a few centuries since we last spoke... Eh? It's only been a week? Keheheh... To a being whose lifespan is as limitless as his brilliance, the difference is all but discernable. Nevertheless, I must apologize for my absence, regardless of how aeonic of a dearth it truly was. I'm not quite certain as to what despicable delirium managed to successfully effectuate such enervation within me, but it appears as though I have somehow lost consciousness for an entire week. Despite the undeniable truth that a week is to my existence as a picosecond is to an eternity, to instantaneously be rendered unconscious for such a breadth of time is no small cause for concern... Well, beyond the wasted 168 hours that could have been spent further voyaging on my journey to enlightenment, I appear to have sustained no other ill effects. ...In truth, it feels to me more like the time simply disappeared, as if it dissolved like tissue origami in a pool of still water. Though I suppose that analogy would imply a far more languid process than what I experienced, or didn't experience, rather...

That being said, in order to evaluate the current state of my mental faculties and ensure that no short-term harm has afflicted me, I have been engaging in simple, routine mental exercises. Actually, you caught me right in the middle of just such a trial! Yes, your arrival is so fortuitous that I'd dare to compare it to the blessing of a God! Your presence now puts every Deus Ex Machina to shame! What am I doing exactly, you ask? ...Why, nothing other than the most classic of all brain teasers: The jigsaw puzzle! Together, we shall bring this elementary assortment of pieces to its knees! ...Huh? Why do I need your help solving a measly 500 piece puzzle? First of all, it's not 500, it's 550! And second of all, it's not as though I need require your assistance, it's just that such a task can take a rather substantial sum of time, regardless of one's personal skills... ...Wait, wait wait! Don't leave! Fine, I admit it! Your demonic and disastrous future lord of darkness isn't very good at jigsaw puzzles, okay!? To be pertinently honest, I do not gleam an incredible amount of enjoyment from menial activities such as jigsaw puzzles. As such, I have a rather difficult time focusing on the task at hand, and I find my mind wandering as I laggardly chip away at the inconceivably vast wealth of remaining pieces that have formed into a contemptable mountain on the table's surface. However, I cannot simply concede, and move onto my next exercise! Such behavior is ill-becoming of nobility such as myself. And thus, the mist the obfuscates the irrefragable core of my predicament is blown away by the winds of truth. All that being said... I, Trevor Ushiromiya, Future lord of darkness, humbly request of you but a scant few moments of your time, so that together, we may move onwards from this byzantine puzzle.