entry 001

i wish i was like everyone else

i wish i wasn't alone all the time 

i wish i was the perfect person

i wish my hair was soft

i wish i had good taste in fashion

i wish i was the girl that made everyone laugh

i wish people felt comfortable around me 

i wish i didn't depend on people so much

i wish i had perfect grades

i wish i knew when i went too far

i wish i knew how to stop

i wish i was normal

i wish i didn't have bad handwriting

i wish i wasn't so mean

i wish i had more friends

i wish i didn't overreact all the time

i wish i didn't care so much

i wish i thought about my actions before acting

i wish i wasn't in my head all the time

i wish it was easy to leave people

i wish i didn't eat all the time

i wish i wasn't a fucking loser

i wish i was older

i wish i actually acted like a kid

i wish i focused more often

i wish i wasn't insecure

i wish i wasn't myself

i wish i was stronger

i wish i didn't cry like a baby

i wish i wasn't embarrassed about being wrong

i wish i was always right

i wish i actually used my brain for once

i wish my body wasn't so fucking ugly

i wish grammar was better

i wish i had a community i could trust

i wish i didn't have mood swings

i wish i was actually present

i wish i wasn't lazy

i wish i didn't have a brain

i wish i would stop thinking about all these things.  i wish i would just accept who i am. i wish i didn't care about everyone else, about everything they thought.  i wish i realized i'm just human, everyone does these things, so why is my brain always freaking out over it.  why.  just why am i like this, why don't i just change, why am i so lazy.  im such a fucking loser, i wish i wasn't.  i wish i wasn't real.