brain forgets im aroace (+ rambles)

how many times do i have to see an attractive man and get distracted by him thinking i like him before my brain remembers i cant like people like that and its just gender envy

sometimes the trans and aroace combo kicks my ass. 

honestly though while in some ways being aroace is really peaceful sometimes i think that not being aroace at all or even just being ace would make my life a lot easier. maybe not easier but simpler? idk maybe it would confuse my brain less (although now i never have to stress about figuring out how i feel about people), and it would definitely make it easier for people to understand who i am. some people will never understand that there is no dating for me ever and it will always be a topic for them and it will always be relevant to them and i just want to leave it all alone its annoying and infuriating.