i enjoy art, don't get me wrong, i really do. i just feel like it's not mine anymore. i'm unhappy with what i put out and i always pick at the smallest of things. most of it isn't really for myself anymore, atleast it doesn't feel like. i've lost my true passion for a while now, i feel like, and i really want it back. i know i can do better than this and other people do too, but i can't bring myself to care enough anymore. i don't physically struggle as much getting out of bed but sometimes my mind is so heavy, and it feels like it's going to explode or pop off my shoulders and splat against the floor. other times i can't even focus, because all i can think about is how worthless life seems to be the older i grow; and yeah, i know it sounds stupid because i'm 15 but i really don't think i'm ready for this. i don't think i ever was.
art used to be something i could use as an outlet, something that made me feel better and less alone. it still does but not to the same extent, it just feels somehow even more of a temporary solution than it did before. i can't get out the feeling i need to and it frustrates me beyond the heavens, and it sucks. i want to enjoy art. it's something so beautiful, because of the factor of subjectivity it makes it so worthwhile to just take a moment and appreciate the ways others perceive the world. you can learn so much about a person through it, and it really does prove to speak louder than words. i'm so happy, too, when i find other people share the same sentiments as i do, usually i feel like an annoying buzz that eventually becomes background noise, and it makes me discouraged to even share how i feel about topics surrounding the different arts.
a good thing though is that i've learnt not to compare my art, as peoples' styles are so different to one another that there is no true way of "being better". all there is to care about, really, is to unleash your creativity and pour your heart and soul into it. to just have fun with it, because it's not supposed to be a chore or competition. it's there to help you process and heal. for you to get across points you may not be able to word right or admit out loud. a voice for those who desperately desire one, but can't have one.
i've also noticed i am upset over the smallest mistakes, so i need to teach myself not to be so harsh on myself. i will never be perfect at everything, and i will struggle with some things more than others, but if i try to correct that i will never be happy because you are constantly learning even when you don't think you are. there's no need to rush my progress when there is no end goal, because i can make create and let my imagination run free without needing to be "good" at art. i have hands to make what i wish to make and that's all i need.
Comments
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jerry_
i do not enjoy art
i love you jerry
by ᓚᘏᗢ S/R; ; Report
nex♫
dude you worded this feeling so perfectly. Sometimes its hard to even find the motivation to pick up a pencil :-( i hope you find a way out of this rut
tay
This is such a good blog writing, and you said everything so well. Sometimes art feels like that, and it sucks. Hopefully art will be the way you want it to be soon.
scenemo.mess666
i feel you,
what helped me was doodling just drawing loopdy loops and simple things
Roni ☆
this is so real. getting out of art block is so hard but I really hope you continue to enjoy art and keep pushing through. <3
xAcid_Androidx
Dude, I know this might have been said to you a 1,000 times, but I understand that feeling. To me; I see art as the mind of the maker and how they think, but recently I cant even bring myself to start a sketch. Something seem soulless.
Hyde In The Wired
Well, dont forget! There's no obligation to share your art. The mistakes in your art aren't wrongs- it's just what happened. Art is.. Flexible. }:) So dont feel bad about mistakes, often times they add to ones art!
LIANXD
This was really well written and I have started to also reflect about art..
Art can be really confusing tbh.. It can cause you a huge feeling of relaxation and of stress at the same time. Especially when you keep yourself motivated on others opinions, it can become a huge problem to the artist's mental and physical health even..
Art can give you all sorts of feelings, you can feel good about what you created, you can feel sad, angry, anxious, and many more.. Those emotions usually coming from experiences with others artists or with others who see and judge them. Like when you see a different piece, from the same media you draw from as an exemple, you can feel as if you aren't as good as theirs, even tho your art looks just as great. Sometimes it makes you feel like you don't draw for your own fun, but for others praise and acceptance, sometimes that is your only motivation.
I don't really know if I should give an advice or not, but taking time to think and take a break from your stress can really do some help!
-PS: I'm not fluent on English, so I apologise for any grammar mistakes or confusing parts.