ughh so tired :\\\

im literallly about to fall asleep but i have hw :|| ripp

in other news, ive started collecting CDs, atm i gave some queen ones, a bit of nirvana and some of the smiths (and also a bit of kpop, how you wonder, seeing as kpop CDs/albums cost a TON, is for me to know and you to not know ;/ ), going pretty well atm ig

also, this may be a rant of mine, but i just genuinely DISPISE  some people at my school. literally i have never met more.. what would the word be.. oh i know, DENSE. bro we are in our GCSE years and some of them dont even know what an adjective is. the wheel is spinning but the hamsters dead is a good way to explain some of the people in my class. btw the example isnt the only reason why their so dim-witted (i dont wanna say stupid because its quite straightforward and a bit rude)

and i dont mean this in a rude way because i never usually say this about people, but its so FRUSTRATING istg >;\. 

ive been looking for a reason for how they got this way, and i thought i may have found a reason, it could be their different disorders like ADHD ect.

 (for context my school is private BUT i am moving to a science and art school at the end of the year for GCSE reasons, and a good percentage of the shcool have some type of neurodivergence, which bothers me in a way because i have aswell, which you are going to see after this context message, but i still get.. well picked on ig? i know i get treated different because of my ASD so it just confuses me, anyway back to the rant) 

but guess what, I HAVE THE DISORDERS TOO AND IM NOT THAT INTELECTUALLY INCAPAPLE, in fact, theyre ADHD from most people perspective is quite mild, unlike myself whos disorders are more moderate/severe at times! so its not just the fact they have some problems with learning they are just THAT dim witted.

if youre wondering why i havent said anything, (which is one of my own questions to myself) that reason is because when i try to get my emotions, or speak out if you will, to my parents or anyone, seeing as i already have trouble opening up about myself (a problem ive had since i was a kid) i usually get ignored or they dont understand. 

atm im feeling a bit proud of myself, seeing as i havent fully spoken like this in any way before - like ever - even when i was talking w my school therapist back when i was younger i didnt speak about my emotions like this, i usually just have conversations w characters i create in my head. 

im gonna do my hw and go to sleep now, bye bye to the two people who view my account!