April 17th

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. For seven thousand, six hundred and sixty five days, my nefarious soul has inhabited this blessed realm, and I've savored every blissful second of it. Playing no small part in my ability to drink deep the joyous ambrosia that fills the chalice of all that life has to offer, are all the people around me, and you most of all. Though, truth be told, you are the only one left that I can still talk to... Not that I wouldn't delight in partaking in conversation with you to regardless... But I often wonder what the others are doing, now that they all seem to be so far away... 

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(But I can't help but get the feeling that they should have come back by now...)

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The man who stood alone amidst a field of blades, surrounded by onlookers like a silent preacher to a feverish coterie... No matter what situation he found himself in, he carried with him that same, detached look on his face as always... It wasn't like the Grauerprinz, whose unpleasant expression seemed to be cursed by a never-ending hex of disinterest... His face looked as if he wasn't even there at all. As if while his body fought, his mind was completely and utterly preoccupied with some other thought. The other soldiers, even ones far more matured and physically imposing than him, would charge at him one after another, and he'd deflect their blades as if he was merely sweeping a lock of hair out of his aloof, distant face. I remember... The first time that had the opportunity to speak with him... He had already long established his adroit superiority over the other soldiers when it came to combat, and seemingly finding no reason to waste his precious energy sparring with them, chose instead to ruminate along the outer bounds of the training field's walls. I admit, a soldier like him, around the same age as myself, definitely piqued my interest. Ever a social butterfly, I decided to introduce myself to him. Perhaps if I were fortunate, I could ascertain what idiosyncrasy of his mind enabled him to fight with such aplomb. Yes, ever since that day, he and I became the greatest of rivals, and even greater comrades. It's been just over two whole years since he left... I wonder, how does he fare now? Keheh, by his next visit, I'll surely be stronger than even a man such as him!

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(It's been a long time, hasn't it? His face doesn't even come to mind... It really is rude of him not to at least send me a letter, you know?)

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...I wonder about the man, both wiser and kinder than I, who often dreamed of a better world. The world he envisioned... To call it a utopia would be an injustice. It was beyond what ordinary men and women could imagine. A place where the feeble could fight, the witless could learn, and the callous could love. No doubt, such dreams arose as a result of his own physical limitations... As impressive as his mind was, his body never possessed the fortitude that would render him capable of fulfilling those dreams on his own. 'Tis a shame that opportunities to speak with him were as exiguous as they were deciduous. Someone with his remarkable intellect comes naught but once in a millennium. In hindsight, it is no surprise that he caught the Grauerprinz's eye. It seems that for all my obdurate older brother knows, he never truly understood the importance of giving your underlings time off. ...Though, I could stand to benefit from working you a little harder, couldn't I? Keheheh, I jest... For the time being, anyhow. What a shame it is though, that I never got to speak to him again... The Grauerprinz's expedition to the wastelands in Shin'Ar was only supposed to take a year, but by this point, it's been over three... Hmm... Perhaps I should further improve my efficacy in the culinary realm, so that I may prepare him a feast for when they return? Kuhuhu, I can reserve the burnt portions for the Grauerprinz himself, so that he can get a taste of his own ashy bitterness!

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(I'll be more than just a little furious if that idiotic brother of mine forgets to supply him with the proper medication... It isn't his fault that his body is like that, but the Grauerprinz looks down on him for it regardless... If you're going to recruit him, the least you could do is show a bit of respect...!)

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But most of all... I wonder about the amber-lit harvest moon in the sky... It's been two entire years since then, all the way back on my nineteenth birthday... Time truly does fly when you have all the time in the world to lounge about in the freedom of the castle's walls, doesn't it?... Reading to my hearts content, practicing my swordsmanship until my arms are numb and devoid of strength, and speaking to my comrades until the sun rises... Yes, I will do my best to cherish these days forever. Now, for one more slice of cake...

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(To be honest, the harvest moon always brings me a bit of anxiety around this time of the year... It doesn't really make sense to me... Even something ordinary like a white moon can be missed, if it goes away for long enough, huh? I wonder if the others feel the same way...)

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