Part of a story I wrote

I would love some feedback on this story and I hope you all like:

The morning sun showed through Leo’s window. It illuminated the room in a warm glow. Leo groaned as he rose from his comfortable bed. Leo’s attic room was small. His bed was a ginormas beanbag. Leo got out of his bed and slipped his feet into his bear claw slippers. The smell of blueberry pancakes and orange juice led Leo downstairs. In the kitchen, Leo’s dad, Alastor, was downstairs with Camila, who was stuffing her mouth with a pancake. 

“Mornin’ Leo, help yourself to some breakfast,” Alastor said from the kitchen. Leo sat down and brushed the hair out of his eyes. Camila’s dark hair was in a ponytail, she yawned as she took another bite of the pancake. 

“Leo, after you finish, I want you to go to town and buy some groceries. Okay?” Alastor said he came out of the kitchen and ate his food. Alastor was a big man with broad shoulders and his typical red flannel and black shirt. 

After Leo finished his breakfast he tossed his plate into the sink and went upstairs to change. He wore his black combat boots and leather jacket. He changed into some jeans and was ready to go.



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Noel Gruber

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I like it! But I keep thinking: Alastor, red flannel and black shirt? hmmmmmm


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lol, No it is not based on Alastor from Hazbin Hotel. I made this story before I had heard of him

by Cherri Bomb; ; Report