Money. ᕕ༼✿•̀︿•́༽ᕗ

You have no idea HOW MUCH I HATE MONEY AND LOVE IT. I hate money for us not having enough to gene have food for a month and it only lasting one week. But I love it cause it pays the bills and let’s us live another month with a roof over our head. But argh. I’m trying to save money up so I can buy myself some clothes cause I genuinely am starting to need clothes+ these clothes can layer up it’s not actually many but it’s sweater vests(2), button ups(2), a pair of shoes, some ties(3), pants(1) and a skirt(1) and it all costs up to 205.34$ but Mother’s Day is coming up and my friends birthday is in July. And I wanna get nice things for my mom (to make up for forgetting about Mother’s Day on accident- from like two years ago but still and a argument that had happened like 2 years ago too we’re like I don’t even rmeber what happened tho but I feel really bad plus mom doesn’t get stuff for herself usually- cause yk tight on money) so usually every month me and my brother get 100 dollars to spend each month. So I try and spend carefully on stuff I need or want and I have other things going on and stuff with money so poop but yea. I guess cause I am autistic and remembering when Mother’s Day was coming around next month it fucked over my idea to save money for the next two months to try and get myself some clothes(by that I mean distressed me cause I had a set plan taht I didn’t think was going to be needed to be adjusted- so now ranting about money.) I honestly wish that people who are disabled would get more money than less than 1,000 dollars a month basically for each person cause mine my brothers and moms plus child support is only barely 3,000 a month which we barely can get by on. :// and I hate it so much cause there’s nothing I can do untill I can actually get a functioning job but we can get kicked out of our apartments if we make a certain amount of money cause the apartment is for poor people but even then they still raise fucking rent. We have bills and your gonna have rent be 1,107??? Like this is meant to be a place where people who are poor can try and live comfortably. I hate the fucking world and plus apartments aren’t even supposed to be that expensive. Like we have a nice home for a “cheap price” to people who are mid class because it’s a three bedroom with a kitchen living room and bathroom. But the price is still bad for people who are lower class. It’s AUGH. poopy poopy POOPY. It upsets me cause as a kid I shouldn’t have to understand this I should still be kinda thinking the world is good until I’m like 17 where my world view gets finally crushed but it’s been crushed sense i was a kid and we had to stay at a homeless shelter that fucking kicked us out simply because we DIDN’T FUCKING PRAY TO GOD??? Like what???? And I was 4 :// life is so corrupt and stupid.