Shit-post #1

Picture this a young mother of 21 sets off with dreams and ambitions of going to medical school  to provide for her infant daughter as they are financially struggling she vows to do everything in power to ensure that her child could never want for anything. This seemed a relatively attainable goal as academics have always come easy to her…. until it didn’t and when it began to crash and burn the easiest solution was to quit. Quit before they can reject you is how she lives her life. That applies to every aspect including relationships, at the first sign of trouble she will bail out so she’s never the one to get hurt first. She is me, I am her. And this is shit post number one because I can’t afford therapy. 

Quitting the pre-medicine path is something that will haunt you like a lingering fungal infection, depending on the amount of people you told, just when you thought it was gone… it pops up again. My best suggestion is to never tell anyone your plans especially because half of the time they will change and the explanations are always awkward. It’s better to let everyone think you have zero aspirations and actually attain something than fail and get the dreaded “I told you so”. 

The tail-spin I went through after quitting is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I graduated undergrad sure, but with a degree in biology I may as well have never even went. It hangs on my wall as a remembrance that I am 60K in debt and working the same job as when I started…. 

What’s worse is parent’s that try to live vicariously through their children. My mother desperately wanted me to do that to one up whoever she felt that it would make her better than. So when I decided to quit and pursue something else the first thing said was well you can always go back later. 

I don’t want to go back. Ever.

 For so long, I was forced into thinking that the pursuit of happiness only comes from being financially secure but that is the false misconception of the American Dream. What they don’t tell you is that none of it matters and it is all bullshit. You will always struggle until you are 30, at 30 you begin to see the light of day only to struggle with something other than money.

The tried and truest statement I’ve ever heard.. life’s a bitch wear a helmet.