Life

Vent Post at 2am

I feel like I’ve made it relatively clear that my home life isn’t that great. There are obvious positives that i continuously look at in spite of the problems that arise. There is only one person causing this strife in my life. That person used to be a close friend of mine. Somewhere along the way I lost this person, I don’t know how but the person they were isn’t the person they are now. 

It genuinely saddens me how people don’t always change for the better. I personally have, and it’s been clear to those who matter to me that changes have been made on my end to make sure I’m better off mentally than I once was. The fact that I feel like i can’t give this person any love and understanding also saddens me. At the same time, at this point in my life, I have no time to be sympathetic towards those who can’t accept themselves. This person I speak of refuses help from others, even family try to help and they reject it. 

I can’t tell if they’re able to change, or if they’re a lost cause. They seem to feel like everyone else is the problem but themself. Which usually points to signs of you being the problem, right? Anyway, I’ve recently decided that this person doesn’t deserve my understanding as well as my sympathy. I have my own life, with my own future, and my own choices to make. I’m looking ahead at a bright future and I’m trying to get there. They look back and dwell on bullshit that doesn’t matter anymore. 

Why do people do that? Fixate on the past and stay mad at things they can’t change…just learn and move forward to become better. Learning from the past is how we get better in the future.

Thank you for reading this far, if you did I love you for just reading about some of my problems <3

-N