Report Blog Entry
om hello hi how r u??????? hope ur well u sexy stranger, unless ur underage in which case thats weird and ur just like, a little stranger i guess. Lets start over.
HELLO GENERAL PUBLIC I AM SALEM.
its been a long awaited month for my return, i doubt anyone noticed lol thats alright tho i think id be a little concerned if some sexy stranger was grovelling in my dm's about my disappearance lol can u imagine. "SALEM I MISS U AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL GREEN AND PURPLE HAIR, AND YOUR DEVILISHLY HANDSOME FACE, AND U SWAUVE RIZZ THAT FLOWS FROM U LIKE A BROKEN SCHOOL WATER FOUNTAIN!" and i'd be all like "#rekt". Did i mention i'm the most humble person to walk this earth? because i am.
i jest, i joke, i poke fun dont u even worry about me, im not that much of an ass- most times.
I deleted most my socials cuz people r texting me and i got overwhelmed lol, like the mighty soldier i am.
Besides i get enough social interaction from my work.
Would you like a bag? thats £1.50 whenever you're ready! Have a nice bag- i mean fuck- HAve A niCe dAy!!!
im a mess, a sexy mess tho so like...bonus points?
The other day some little old man came back up to my till to have me scan something i forgot to earlier cuz he didn't want me to get into trouble lol, bless his moral heart, i wouldn't of gotten in trouble- i work for a giant retail company u rlly think they care about an 8 quid jumper? of course not, and they dont care about their workers either rlly so again that dude could've ignored his morals for a sec and just stole the damn jumper. But i appreciate the sentiment!! Better than the old men that tell me my name isn't Christian lol like no ofc its not,
my name is Salem not Christian.
silly billies.
omg how have u been tho??? does anyone read these???? im talking to u dont ignore me mf, did u drink?? did u eat??? did u piss????? did u punch a bigot today?????? give me the details. JK, but fr hope it was well lol.
Comments
Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
Evo
this reminded me of when i worked at a grocery store and someone RAN out with like, multiple cases of water bottles. I'm talking $80 worth of water. mf BOOKED IT LMAO.
Another time, some lady had reaaalllly bad diarrhea or sumn, and she had shit leaking down her legs and onto the floor, leaving a trail from the bathroom all the way to the bread aisle
they really be crazy out here
and yes i drank, ate and pissed. i got my nightly matcha because i am an addict (i don't even say my order anymore. they see me and enter it before i even get to the register. 🧍🧍 im not even joking 🧍🧍🧍)
I hope u are also hydrating and eating and pissing and shitting (where/when appropriate)!!!
im so glad ur bladder and bowels are working as they're intended! om when u gotta go u gotta go, and that lady happened to need to go RIGHT THEN RIGHT THERE, i admire the dedication. We dont got restrooms where i work so when people ask i just direct them to a store nearby that got one lol, but that doesn't stop people from shitting in the changing rooms. stinky fucks. LUCKY FOR ME I DONT WORK IN THE CHANGING ROOMS SO NOT MY PROBLEM *confetti* but i do work at checkout so i get alllllll the verbal abuse lolol but that's alright, it entertains me. OH??? YOU DONT HAVE YOUR RECIEPT FOR THE RETURN???? oh noooo :'( oh nOoOoOo :'((( u wanna see my manager??? yeh???? okay, just for u pookie.
by Salem; ; Report