It May Be My Circus But I Rented Those Monkeys

So IDK if I’ve actually gone fully into it here at any point but last winter I experienced a major, life-changing burnout; not the kind that’s a car running out of gas, where you just need to pause to refuel, the kind that’s the engine catching on fucking fire. The kind that makes you terrified you might have to retire the whole car. But all this just to explain why that even though I’m the president of my university’s big LGBTQ+ organization, I’ve been a little hands-off. Doing bare minimum, avoiding events.

But today we had an event that was a partnership with other organizations, and the other officers were being rather forgetful about the whole thing, so I figured I’d go out there and get back on the horse (despite the fact I’m only president for another couple weeks anyway). One of the officers for the partnered org is in one of my classes, and she’s very nice, so I didn’t want to seem like I blew off her event.

And hey, it went relatively well! I’m very exhausted because it was outside, and I had to put on president/customer service mode; and I’m not entirely over the intrusive urges to… (motions like I’m cutting my throat) myself that came with that depressive episode, but by jove, I did it at least. A person who I like from other organizations on campus was mentioning they were also coming out of a depressive episode, so I gave them a beaded bracelet I had made. It matched their shirt. :]

After the event, our officers realized there’s a problem with our shirts. I mean, the shirts are fucking epic. That’s not the problem (I really wish I could share the design without doxxing myself it’s fucking gorgeous). The officer in charge of them just wasn’t paying attention to how many we had left, and now we’re pretty low despite still having pre-orders to fulfill. I think it’ll be fine though, and I just can’t worry about it. I refuse to. Tired of it. As the title of this blog states; may be my circus, but I rented these goddamn monkeys. If she fucked up, she can refund people.

Now I’m just finishing an orange soda before heading to the lab I work in. I was sick last week so I’m pretty behind, I’ll probably have to be in there for a few hours at least. I’d kind of just like to take a nap, but I can do that after. I don’t have too much classwork this week.