mark me

It is a bitter, acrid feeling

To want what I cannot have;

To smell, hear, see you so close

And to know you will turn away every time.

Untouchable, unattainable, always a hair’s breadth away.

If I leaned over right now, I could touch my hand to your cheek,

Press my lips to the junction of your jaw

Where your ear dips in,

Leave a mark; a furious indigo bruise.

But I won’t. 

I won’t, but god do I want to.

Your smiles, your private glances, your condescension;

I crave it.

Your biting insults, your apologies

Like ice after a fall.

Tear me open like a ripe blood orange and savor the sticky sweetness of my pain

As it spills between your lips, down your fingers, and

Stains your nails.  

Be cruel,

Be vicious,

Be sinful,

I can take it.

Just be there when I am down.

Lord over me.

Place the heel of your boot lovingly on my neck

And leave your mark on me.