i dont like cucumbers

i do not like cucumbers!! and im saying this in the most prepared, erudite way i can. despite my history as a picky eater (i have since grown out of overly specific preferences, but my dad still cooks broccoli and mac n cheese each time i visit), i have tried cucumbers on countless occasions. 

now, i love the idea of cucumbers. they look so fresh!!! MMmMmmmm listen to that crunch. refreshing, easy, and healthy?? i love all of those things. cucumbers are one of the most perfect vessels to shovel pesto hummus into my mouth as well. and they are pretty! the cross section of a cucumber rivals rare citrus slices in beauty and effectiveness. while a lemon slice looks pretty on the side of a glass of lemonade, cucumber slices spark images of relaxation and implant comforting thoughts of a luxurious spa day into your mind. nearly all aspects of a cucumber exhibit every requirement to be one of my favorite foods.

but i do not like them!

recently i have been in a frenzy of eating bananas. breakfast, lunch, walking to class, late night gaming. bananas. you can scribble affirmations into the peel with your fingernail. there is no need to package them or wash you hands before peeling a banana.

however, while on a discord call one night, a friend of mine said he was going to go get a banana. we had been gaming for a few hours (if memory serves) so, obviously, snacktime is standard procedure. moments later, he returns and says there weren't any bananas left, and truly that was a despair i could relate to. almost the next thing i hear, however, was an outrageously-close-to-his-microphone CRUNCH. 

"wtf are you eating"

"a cucumber"

"RAW??"

yes. a cucumber. raw. no hummus. no ranch. not even sliced or cut. is this normal? a whole raw cucumber? i had never once heard of this. whole pickles, sure, but that is for another time. to say i was in complete shock is an understatement. perhaps it was in a rage-filled blur (or perhaps, more accurately, i have a bad memory and this was 2 months ago) but that is all i can remember of that particular encounter.

now, based on this blogpost up to this point, my reader undoubtedly believes that i have an abject hatred for cucumbers and, likely, that i stay away from them at all costs, but this is just the nucleus of my fascination.

i find myself ordering cucumber each time i go to the sandwich station at my school's dining hall. when my dad sets up the taco bar for dinner, cucumber!! in my mini taco! i cannot begin to explain what compels me to try the fruit(?)(yes)(it has seeds) every time it makes itself available to me in my life. 

i have told this series of barely-interesting personal accounts of my experiences with cucumber to many people in my life. when they see me picking at my sandwich, i always defend that i do not like them and i promise i am not a very picky eater its just cucumbers and i should totally like them and to some degree i do like the crunch is great but i do not like the flavor and i know they are not super flavorful but to me they are and i do not like it and i do not find i refreshing in water even though my mom loves it and always makes large pitchers of cucumber water. THE POINT IS: with each of these interactions, my friends or moots or whoever i am with will say

"then why did you get them"

and that is the exact thing i cannot explain