e̵̳̪̙͆́̂̃́͠n̵̝̝̾̾̈́̅͌t̸͔͙͓̲̯͆̃̕͘͜͠ ̵̫͈͍͍͌͗̄̊n̸̫̞̝͗̉i̶̛̙̗̖̭͋́̚n̷̼̪̬̒̍͌͘͝ë̵̻͉̤͍́̄̀̈́̀

i hate being so aware of the existence of my stomach, im either always hungry or nauseous. right now i am so hungry and chewing gum isnt distracting me anymore its so annoyingggg. its not like i have any stomach issues that i know of or that i dont eat enough or at the wrong times i don't get what's wrong. 

now im on a food tutorial pinterest doomscroll and its just making me sadder oh the things id do for a hamburger right now

i havent had one in sooooo long :(

oh the superficial woes of food cravings and a stubborn stomach. i crave starch and sustenance. CARBS. CARBS PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF CARBS.

> hamburger with cheese, ketchup and pickles

> instant noodles with stretchy cheese

> tteokbokki also with stretchy cheese

> pineapple fried rice

> a bowl of udon

> a slice of chocolate cake

> a big thick milkshake

> curly or sweet potato fries

> sweet and spicy or onion chips, cheetos, doritos

and i make a point to try and eat healthy as much as i can and i try and opt for good options. ive eaten through half the supply of oranges, grapes, apples, crackers, trying to eat balanced lunches or not much at all. its not like i need to lose weight im already slim. its not like im unhealthy im average at worst. so why do i feel so guilty eating another sugar another treat another empty carb, have i earned it? or am i trying to avoid another binge. 

i don't get it! this is such a silly situation. i'll go and get something to itch my craving sometime because chugging the last of someone's cup ramen when i have the chance isn't cutting it anymore.