blog #1 💌🩸

i normally hate to pick on myself the way that i do, but man is it so hard to ignore it at moments. it’s normal though. i guess. i just sometimes feel like humans weren’t meant to be so self aware, you know? society is so harsh and it’s crazier because it drains us all & barely anyone says anything about that. it sometimes feels like its much too late, most of the damage has already been done but it isn’t too late. we all feel these things. we all have harsh critiques on ourselves at moments, if not almost all of the time. i’m not perfect, nor do i really want to be, but i do know that eventually i’d like to be the best version of myself. and that’s just going to take so. much. time.

growing comes with having to accept time. i feel like time is just the easiest part though. the worst part is unlearning your unhealthy habits, correcting yourself when you know deep down inside you’re wrong, apologizing to people, as well as apologizing to yourself. and accepting your own apology. and i mean truly accepting your own apology. another hard part of growth is having to accept that this whole process isn’t linear. you must live with the bad to experience the great. and it just sucks that sometimes, that deep down inside, i KNOW these things are true, but the doubt wins. but that’s just a prime example of how it’s not going to be linear. you’re winning even when you make a mistake, as long as you try your best to correct it, and you hold yourself accountable. that goes with saying negative things about yourself !! ** 

so in order to learn how to love myself correctly, i’ve given a lot of thought on things i can do to make an attempt. 

first, remember that your space and environment is a reflection on how you may feel. if your room is real cluttered and overall not clean, your chances of being in a shitty mood increase. clean your room, but try putting music on while doing so & doing it in small chunks rather than looking at it as a whole from the start… you know? :0

start making lists. as someone who loves list making, it’s satisfying to physically cross something out on a to-do list. these tasks don’t have to be huge ones either, little one’s count as well :) that could be wiping down windows in your room/house, getting something you’ve been pushing away done, etc. 

another thing i do is blog about it, or if it’s too personal i’ll just journal about it. but it’s a way to explain how you feel without taking it out on someone else or just unhealthily coping with whatever it is you’re going through.

being on the journey to self love isn’t corny, it’s not selfish to love yourself, to respect and value yourself. the things you love. you’re entitled to living your best live and being comfortable in your own skin. it’s just going to take some time, but thats okay too. nature doesn’t rush, so why should we?

until next time, peace ☮️

- vela 💐