12:43am

chills all over my body…it fucking hurts to be an empath & care so deeply for another human. if you’re in emotional pain that pain will quickly become my pain & even if I wanted to.. I couldn’t not let it bother me. 

my fucking heart breaks to an extent I don’t think I can explain - it hurts to know no one ever has truly cared about the pain I go through, to the extent they feel my pain too when I hurt. no one has ever treated me with delicacy like I have them.. & still.. I love anyway. I care anyway.. it takes years & a thousand nightmares later to even begin to think I couldn’t care anymore & even then, I probably will still care /:

& maybe I was designed simply to care too much & always be understanding but not to be cared for or understood myself. If that is the case in a fantasy world I would ask for one wish only & that would be to be able to help others when they are suffering, even if it will cause me suffer w them because truly sometimes I have no choice but to suffer & feel that pain w you if I care for you.,

I know I cannot help others w their demons, as no one can help me w mine even if they cared enough about me as I do about them. our mental internal demons antagonize us all daily in different fucked ways. this reality is hell & I was only meant to be a rainbow light on this planet for others, carrying my dimly lit soul just can’t help but love & care too much & empathize & sympathize to deeply. I shouldn’t have to apologize to anyone for my own destruction 🥀