I'm quitting Guitar. (vent)

Okay so I've been playing guitar for a few months now, and for the past month an a half I've been learning Demolition lovers, because the song rlly reminded of my love for my ex. (bf at the time) But after about half a month (a few weeks) of learning it, me and my ex got into a massive argument over something stupid, and he ended up breaking up with me because of it. After that, I was wrecked. (I still 100% am absolutely heartbroken) So, I stopped playing guitar. I was so depressed, and too tired to even get up out of my bed, let alone pick up my guitar. Today, i decided to maybe try again, but I couldn't even finish the second chord before I stopped. I thought maybe if i started a different song, and stopped doing Demolition Lovers, then I'd be alright. I attempted Teenagers, but again, I couldn't bring myself to finish the second chord. Same thing happened again, when I later tried Give Em Hell Kid. So, I just placed my guitar back in it's spot, and cried.

 He was slowly healing me, and making me so happy, but now hes destroying me even worse than I was before we got together. He was the sweetest boy ever, but after the breakup he turned into a cruel asshole. Threatening to burn my house down, to bash my 10 YEAR OLD SISTER AND COUSIN, he leaked my address in a gc full of gang members, telling them to come to my house and bash us, and the SECOND we broke up, while I was sobbing into one of my best friend's arms, he was posting on his snap chat story "single :)" and posting tiktok's about how "he'll do anything for his sister," including breaking up with me.

 Not even two weeks later, he gets with one of my closest friends, who "hated him." a few weeks before we broke up, I had a feeling that he didn't love me anymore. his "I love you" texts, slowly started to feel different. We spoke about it, and he said how much "he loved me" and shit, and "how much I meant to him," so I just pushed my feelings away, and listened to him.

 I've lost basically all of my friends, and I have barely anyone anymore. Ofc I still have friends, but almost all of my closest friends, all left me. His new gf, (one of my best friends at the time) even leaked a massive vent I sent to her, about my bf (at the time)'s sister sexually Assaulting me. Nobody believed me. Then, everyone started harassing me, saying to "stop chatting shit" and "making up lies" when it happened. And I'll never forget it. The harassment went on for what felt like years, people going to the extreme of people saying shit about my dad passing away, and that I'm a whore, because he sexually assaulted me when I was younger. 

Yesterday, one of my best friend's (the one that held me in her arms when me and my ex broke up) came over for a sleepover, and she's cousins with my ex, and lives with him, so he came over to drop off some of her things that she forgot at their house. He didn't come inside, but he came onto the front yard. Hearing his voice in person for the first time in so long, broke my heart even more. Those were the best 5 in a half to 6 months of my life. He even said that I should kms. And I'm not going to lie, I've been thinking so much about it. :/

- Anne :(