big friend groups

i dont think big friend groups are inherently bad, but i cant say that theyve been working out too good for me either.

the tea is this:

i had a group of friends. we were chill. literally zero drama. there was another group of friends that we were all acquaintances with. there is one dude in that other group who people have a lot of OpInIoNs on. personally i dont like him, and i guess people in the other group with him in it didnt like him either, because they started hanging out with our group untill eventually both groups merged, and since they were pretty big friends groups to start off with, we now have a mega group of about 17 peeps.

anyway, i now have a jumbled-up list of pros and cons

• i have a lot more friends than before
• i feel like im not as close to some of my friends than before
• i am comfortable with everyone in the group but i wouldnt say im super close to everyone
• arranging things is a nightmare
• it can be overwhelming, especially for the neurodivergent people in our group
• lots of interesting stuff is always happening
• i have multiple friends in every class
• people often feel excluded and left out of things
• i dont feel like i have just one best friend anymore

anyway, its kinda weird, i was just thinking about this because today i was having a little goss sesh with the girls and we were really getting into all this stuff. i love gossiping though, like not even the toxic behind-the-back type shit, just discussing our views on our current predicament, how were all feeling in the context of society, and school and whatnot. 

its so good to just rant about your life and have people relate, and you can talk about things that have been annoying both of you. i also feel like it bonds people so well though, like i can be friends with someone, but then our relationship wiill be 100 times more close after we spend an hour discussing the current drama.

anyway, ill probably edit this post when more thoughts come to me later, but thats all i have to say for now.