fear

my biggest fear is growing up because the realisation that i cant never experience the same feelings anymore and all the memories will seem distant. i never want to grow up i dont think i can explain it cuz being a teenager its not like u can do everything but something about knowing that im young comfort me. 

maybe it’s because i grew up too fast so when i finally reached that certain age where i get to be rebel and get to use the excuse of being young i get too comfortable and scared of losing it. then again maybe theres no reason to my fear of growing up because im just scared. 

im scared knowing that growing up means i have to start taking responsibilities. and sometimes when i did a mistake i dont wanna deal with the responsibility or i just cant think of anything to solve it. i never know what to do when i have a problems maybe thats why im scared cuz i wanna stay young forever to have adult to tell me what to do when in times of need. 

then again maybe im just scared to grow up because im not ready to be an adult and having to deal with the consequences of some choises and actions i make so instead of taking responsibility i get to blame it and make excuses fir being “young and dumb” but i realise even adult get scared to take responsibility sometimes but its just how we grow u know? so maybe growing up isnt really scary after all cuz u dont grow if u never really make mistakes in life. 

of course u never get to experience the same things again and again but thats just how it is. things and people come and go and if their time to go u just have to let it go. maybe it doesnt stay because it has finally serve its purpose or maybe it came and go because it has taught u some lesson that u cant think of at the moment but when u finally accept that its over maybe u’ll realise the lesson there was to teach u.