How's life been..

So since I want to use this site more, I guess I'll be just blogging more. Tbh my life has been pretty much a mess. I lost three friends this year, but I gained 3 new friends so I don't think everything has been so bad. Sadly February and March were one of my darkest months but I persevered through them. I don't exactly blame my ex-friends since it was a mistake I made and I genuinely should've known better. Although I am a little upset since they kept telling me to apologize, but once I approach them they avoid or run away from me. It's not like I did something majorly problematic, I just made a simple mistake, which makes it sadder that we ended the relationship from a little misunderstanding. It was our first fight too.

I don't want to just keep talking about that though, too negative. There's this guy in my class and he's super cute and nice!! We used to be seatmates but the teacher changed it because it was a new quarter now. I miss it when we would always talk omgggg. He always would give me treats, like snacks or balloons. ACTUALLY, There was this one time when I had to recite a presentation all alone in front of the class, and if there's one thing to know about me, is that I have really bad stage fright, so performing alone just makes it more obvious since I can't direct the attention on someone else. So once I'm up in front of everyone, you can just SEE how bad my stage fright is. My voice and hands were shaking, and I kept fidgeting and playing with my face mask. It was so bad that the teacher whose class I was in at the moment wasn't even making a comment on how I was speaking so quietly when she usually reprimands students who did that. As soon as I finish I go back to my seat BUT I see him clapping his hands for me, telling me I did a great job, and basically just comforting me. He never made that comment when I presented back then. (That day was the first time I present alone, so back then I could just hide behind people during presentations to hide my fear of presenting.) I know that what he did was the bare minimum but he was the only one that comforted me during that time so what he did is still very close to my heart. I have a lot more stories and things to say about him but this blog would be too long and I'm not even sure if you guys want more stories about him, but if you guys do want me to talk about him more just comment!!!

Though as much as I like the last guy..... I might've messaged an old crush..... 

Now this other guy though, our situation is different. This old crush of mine, LIKES ME BACKK. What happened was that I told a friend about him and then she told me to just message him..... so I did. I don't know what demon inserted itself in me to actually message him, but I did it AND OMFG HE REPLIED SO FAST IT WAS SO SURPRISING. I thought it would take him at least an hour because it had been MONTHS since I last talked to him. The conversation went great, like, amazingly great, which was also quite surprising 'cause going into this I thought he would be so dry since we haven't messaged each other in a while but we still were so comfortable with one another, and honestly, I love it. I really do miss him though, not just because he was my crush, but because he was one of the closest friends I've had, and I'm really glad I met him.

Soooo that's how everything has been, and I think this is pretty good for my first post. Also, I apologize if there are grammatical errors, I haven't proofread this. I hope everyone has a good day and if you've read this far, thank you so much!!!! xoxo